We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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