I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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