she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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