Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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