i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize