she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
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they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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