I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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