Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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