New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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