She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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