This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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