The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
we made out on top of his cat.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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