I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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