We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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