Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize