just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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