He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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