i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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