is your mom at the bar?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize