haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
FUCK WHALES
its liver damage thursday
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize