he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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