I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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