A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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