hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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