Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize