I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize