The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize