We're facebook friends in real life
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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