omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
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Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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