Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize