high people should be assigned attendants
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize