That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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