I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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