That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize