What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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