Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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