just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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