i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
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you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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