you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
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ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
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Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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