a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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