I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize