Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
God, I missed his penis.
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