I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize