took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize