why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize