oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize