you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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