Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize