Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize