I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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