there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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